grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
