Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
My pussy is not your playground.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
