Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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