What a fucking waste of an outfit
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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