There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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