with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
