If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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