Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
