Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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