He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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