I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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