Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
