quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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