I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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