Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
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