sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
