I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
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Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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