Me. At least after what I've been through.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
