Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
