In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
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