Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Who put my cat in the fridge?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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