She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
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