I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
