So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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