can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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