Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
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