you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
