you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
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