On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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