Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize