her vagine was all disorganized.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
