He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
whose parrot is this?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
