The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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