And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
