So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
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