The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Did you just see the Batmobile???
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I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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