I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
