did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
