its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
