I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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