it hurts more in the daytime
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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