Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
