The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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