I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize
