He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
