Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Randomize
