she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Randomize
