My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
