The maid of honor just puked.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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