new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Randomize
