I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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