I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize