got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
