That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize