dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize
