She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
