Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
