More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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