I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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