Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
