You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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