If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize