Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
